Nerd Alert: Hunter Pence

Hunter Pence is more comfortable with warlords than baseball fans.

In a recent interview with Yahoo’s David Brown, Astros OF Hunter Pence is quoted as saying:

“(World of Warcraft) is for the competitive edge in me. I always have to be competing.”

Now, W.O.W. is a very time-consuming game, and it appears that this is already making an impact on Pence’s baseball-related activities. He’s currently batting .180 (dangerously near the Mendoza-Andruw Jones line), but on the plus side, Hunter’s mage “Galvan” just earned 400 gold coins after defeating several High Warlords!

Let’s look at a few of the things not worth competing for in Hunter Pence’s life:

- The affection of OF Carlos Lee: Yes, you both share mutual turf in the outfield. But this is not a guy worth knowing, Hunter. He’ll break your heart, and he’ll just get even more fat on you if you break up with him.

- The NL Central: This division is essentially Poland in WWII; it’s a futile attempt and you’ll be dominated by the league’s superpowers. It’s almost pathetic at this point. But I guess it’s not as pathetic as being a W.O.W. fanatic, when you can be riding teammate Roy Oswalt’s tractor in the boonies.

- Joke-a-thon with C Brad Ausmus: Have you seen Sinbad? Like, back-in-the-day Sinbad? We’re talking before “First Kid.” Well, Ausmus is the catcher-version of Sinbad, without the flat top.

I guess the lesson we’ve learned today, kids, is that it’s okay to be lazy. But only if you’re on the Astros.